For your Own Good

For your Own Good

Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence

Book - 1990 | 3rd ed
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For Your Own Good , the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst.

With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term affects of abusive child-rearing. Her conclusions--on what sort of parenting can create a drug addict, or a murderer, or a Hitler--offer much insight, and make a good deal of sense, while also straying far from psychoanalytic dogma about human nature, which Miller vehemently rejects.

This important study paints a shocking picture of the violent world--indeed, of the ever-more-violent world--that each generation helps to create when traditional upbringing, with its hidden cruelty, is perpetuated. The book also presents readers with useful solutions in this regard--namely, to resensitize the victimized child who has been trapped within the adult, and to unlock the emotional life that has been frozen in repression.

Publisher: New York : Noonday Press c1990
Edition: 3rd ed
ISBN: 9780374522698
Branch Call Number: 155.4 M612f 1990
Characteristics: xix, 282 p. ; 24 cm


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"helferand c.henry kempejoachimc.festjefferson starman johncoltranewidowthe batteredchildkindervonuberlebendendernaziverfolgunguberlegungenzumnarzissmussundzurnarzisstischenwutdusollstnichtmerkenfolgenderverfolgungdermannaufderkanzel: fragenaneinenvaterscharzepadagogiklassenliebediemutterkindermisshandlungundkindesrechtedaseinsamekind derwegzu denschafenzeitfurkindererichfrommchristiane f.davidbowiewilhelmreichanaisnin henrymillerohcalcuttaswissmercenarieslost their livesdefendingaristocracyduringfrenchrevolutionesalenabrahamaslowtheoreikthoreausydbarrettchuckberryassagiolifoucaltorsonbeantonycurtisburtlancasterchakakhanmudwimminjamesdeanvalkilmerjoycekilmeridrieshahpaulgoodmanralphhefferlinekeithmoongandhiringomikelovepeterhandkeceliahartmannendlessautoadvertisementstheblindmanwhatlivedacrossthestreetdispensingmenudotoherforwhat?AllisonDeJongchrissiehyndegotbrassinpocketnonukesyoushouldabeenthereconradheidengambinosdrownedclinicdirectoroffbajahewasgonnablowhistleonrunaway'abduction'catholicchurchnyctosflikedec.08m'80markwendellbackinblackbobaltmanjesuschristLordBuddahyahwehpatanjalikrsnaramayanasrimadbhagavatam." she is opposed to violence against children, during their upbringing. she analyzes the upbringings of Adolf Hitler, of Christiane F., and of a German serial killer of small boys, and comes up with startling--yet obvious conclusions about the genesis of wars, and of human suffering. 5 stars. Like this? Read THE SELF AND OTHERS, R.D.Laing. her idea is that even spanking creates trauma that warps the growing personality/psyche of our children, and only serves to alleviate the effects of the spankers' own warps, from their beatings received, during their childhoods. this 'alleviation,' needs to be repeated to be effective, for the beater, so it amounts as well, to an addiction. however, judaeo-christianity teaches, 'spare the rod(abeating instrument);spoil the child.' meanwhile, the jails of America overflow with violent criminals, and the Pentagon creates new killing machines, every year. heroin overdoses are on the rise, and the death carnival rejoices. writers as diverse as sendak, montagu, and bly endorse her conclusions. "Steps on the path to reconciliation: Anxiety, Anger, and Sorrow---but no guilt feelings." "Sylvia Plath: An Example of Forbidden Suffering." "Unlived Anger." "The Permission to Know." "How false the assumption is that children in Germany are more widely abused than in other countries." "what suicide really is: the only possible way to express the true self--at the expense of life itself." "Like Hieronymus Bosch, Durrenmatt depicts an EXPERIENCED hell" "All pedagogy is superfluous as long as children are provided with a dependable person in early childhood, can use this person, and need not fear losing him or her or being abandoned if they express their feelings." "Psychology can provide devastating support for the conditioning of the individual, the family, and whole nations. Conditioning and manipulation of others are always weapons and instruments in the hands of those in power even if these weapons are disguised with the terms EDUCATION and THERAPEUTIC TREATMENT...the more precise kind of knowledge of human behavior based on computer data and cybernetics can contribute to the more rapid, comprehensive, and effective soul murder of the human being than could the earlier intuitive psychology...All that we can do is to affirm and lend our support to the human objects of manipulation in their attempts to become aware and help them become conscious of their malleability and articulate their feelings so that they will be able to use their own resources to defend themselves against the soul murder that threatens them."


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